When it comes to blogs, I have been a little polygamous. I would set up an account here, then if I discover a new blog site and find it interesting, I would setup another account. I can’t even remember if I have an account here, but if I do, I honestly don’t remember.
They said that a person’s actions reflect his inner self. I think there is a little truth behind that. I am trying to reform. Not only with my writing but with my life. I am in dire need of change. I am aimlessly wandering and in the process of finding myself.
My childhood has been torn between being a drama queen and the real thing. I have been trying to escape my real self because I was not happy. I’ve been pretending to be someone else. And I think it has taken its toll on me. I am lost. I don’t know what exactly makes me happy.
I resigned from my job and entered the world of freelancing. I am grateful for the opportunities coming my way. It gives me the luxury of time to get to know myself better.
My current battle is with my weight. I have squarely looked at myself in the mirror. There is no escaping anymore. I have to face the heavy truth. Before, I would look in the mirror but do not see myself. I guess, my escape was also possible because I can hide behind my weight. Another excuse of avoiding people. But, I am putting my foot down now. I have to take over. I have to do this for myself. I owe myself that much.
So, I guess, having this blog will be a part of my therapy. I am making a promise to keep up everyday. A way for me to discover and record what I really want in life. And what I can give back.